Turn Yourself Around

By Jeff Rolfzen & Rocky Steen-Rolfzen

Well I went on down to Houston

Thought I had myself a plan

I went on down to Houston

Thought I’d join a big time band

I tried the kazoo

I tried the flute

Tried the fiddle

The tin whistle too

If you’re ever down in Houston

You’d better turn yourself around

If you’re ever down in Houston

You’d better turn yourself around

Well I went on down to St Paul

Thought I had myself a scheme

I went on down to St Paul

Tried to join that baseball team

I tried third base

The outfield too

Tried the short stop

And the pitcher too

If you’re ever down in St Paul

You’d better turn yourself around

If you’re ever down in St Paul

You’d better turn yourself around

Well I went on down to St Louis

To have myself a time

I went on down to St Louis

To make dollars out of my dimes

I tried the blackjack tables

The slot machines

The high stakes room

They took it all from me

If you’re ever down in St Louis

You’d better turn yourself around

If you’re ever down in St Louis

You’d better turn yourself around

I went on down to Chicago

To get myself a drink

I went on down to Chicago

Got so drunk that I couldn’t think

See they gave me wine

They gave me beer

They whiskey

And everclear

If you’re ever down in Chicago

You’d better turn yourself around

If you’re ever down in Chicago

You’d better turn yourself around

I went down to New York City

Just for a day or two

I went down to New York City

But I stayed the whole year through

I woke up bald

Smelled like a skunk

Worst of all

I was in someone’s trunk

If you’re ever in New York City

You’d better turn yourself around

If you’re ever in New York City

You’d better turn yourself around

I went out to the country

Thought I’d get myself some rest

I went out to the country

Found I liked it there the best

New York, Houston

Chicago too

St Paul, St Louis

Take the best of you

If you’re ever out in the country

Then you best just settle down

If you’re ever out in the country

Then you best just settle down